Saturday 28 January 2012

Fear is an Energy

Fear is an energy. It can save your life, it can also be debilitating. If we didn’t have fear, we would do silly things like jump off the roofs of buildings thinking we can fly, or run in front of a train because we feel invincible. The truth of the matter is, we are not super-heros and so fear keeps us safe. Reasonable fear, healthy fear.

Fear can also be unhealthy, and unreasonable, based on our experiences from life. We could be afraid of ice skating because we fell once and broke an ankle. We could be afraid of going out for a walk late at night because we have decided that it is too dangerous and something bad will happen.

The line that we draw deep inside between healthy fear and unhealthy fear depends very much on how we experienced life. We can take some time to recognise the existence of this line, and then we can actually redefine it. But it can take a lot of hard work.

If you feel called to do this work you can try this idea: Write down a specific fear that you have that you feel is unreasonable. Look at it and remember a time when you felt it before, earlier in life. If possible, go right back to the first time you felt this way. Once you have done this, you can expand on the memory, and trace the feelings to their source.
Take a cold, hard look at the fear, and at the memory you hold. Do they match? Are they reasonable? Can your adult mind rationalise today that what you have been holding onto for so long is actually something that was given to you from another source that was possibly resentful of your talents? Or worried about your safety?

Now you have established where you stand with this fear, write down the benefits of moving through it. For example, think about how much fun you will have being able to go ice skating with friends, or how great you’ll feel after going for a walk, even if it is dark outside.

Breathe out the old fear and let it move through you and into the earth.
Take your power back and let it go.
You can do anything you want to.

3 comments:

  1. Enjoyed reading this.  I overcame many of my fears in a similar way. In recent years, by working through my fears, I have learned to drive, swim and even become a mother. However,l worry about my four year old son who often displays fears that others of his age don't seem to.  he is also prone to saying 'I can't' a lot.  I worry that somehow, unwittingly I have transferred fearful energies to him. I tell him not to be afraid and I tell him that he can do anything he puts his mind to but he doesn't believe me!

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  2. Hi Claire! When we are 2 years old, nobody tells us that we can't walk, and boy do we fall down often enough that it would make sense to give up. But we keep on getting up and we persist until we can do it.
    Maybe your little one needs to be reminded (gently) about this, and also about how things that are worth doing can be difficult at first. Decide now that it is not about you, and show your son all the things that he worked at and now is successful at. There are a lot of them - getting dressed, going to the toilet, walking, just to name a few. Tell him that whatever he wants to do, he can do it if he wants it bad enough. And that each time he falls down, it just means that he is learning and getting better and stronger at it.

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  3. That's good advice.  And it's working!

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