Tuesday 4 October 2011

Autumn 2011

It’s been a while since I wrote a blog entry and I discovered that when I don’t read, don’t meditate or don’t breathe mindfully, I become blocked and I’m not creative.

Only yesterday I started to do all of these things again, and something must have shifted because as I’m back here writing my blog again and I didn’t even plan it!

I think that what is going on in the world can get in between us and our hearts so easily. When this happens we stop living, and turn into survival mode. This is a natural thing to do – in order to survive, we must disconnect from our hearts and buckle down and do whatever it is we have to do. Learning: When I’m in survival mode, I forget to do the things that I love.

When we go into survival mode our bodies shut down and our minds take over. We do only what we think we need to do, we get tired, exhausted even, when this is ongoing we lose our zest for life. The smallest things annoy us, we forget to eat properly, we get caught up in what is on the news, comparing ourselves to other people and getting angry at the small things. We get trapped in a vicious cycle which gets smaller and smaller until it’s all that we see. Survival. Not living. Not growing – we were made to grow.

Autumn can do that to us – somewhere inside us is the primal animal that needs to store up all the food and prepare to go to sleep for several months. We pre-empt winter and some of us start sleeping a little early.
Seeing what we do is one thing but then changing it another - do we have to do it this way? Can we break out of survival mode and live? Even in the autumnal months?

I’m going to try it – I am making conscious decisions about how I want to think, how I want to relax, and how I spend my time. Instead of getting caught up in the energy around me which is heavy, sluggish, tired, exhausted; I am disconnecting from that and connecting into my inner wisdom.

If I need to I’ll write it all down and burn it. I’ll use a structure that someone else created until I can make it my own – a class, a guided meditation cd, a book with affirmations in it. I need to re-light that spark in my heart that allows me to grow and expand.

We can’t do the things we love if we are surviving. The time to live is now.

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