A belief is just a thought. A thought that you keep thinking. And thinking, and thinking and thinking, and believing, and believing and thinking. What makes us choose which thoughts we keep thinking? And why do we always choose the difficult, self-deprecating thoughts to keep us company for most of the time? Thoughts such as: "I am not good enough", "I do not deserve to be happy", "Nothing good ever happens to me", “I should not have done that” “I regret....”, and so on and so on. My favourite Pretty Woman quote says “The bad stuff is easier to believe”. It’s the way were programmed. The problem with thinking bad things however, is that negative thoughts, repeated over and over turn into anger, frustration, confusion, disassociation with the self, and in the most extreme cases, self-loathing.
We are our thoughts. You hear this often enough but what does it really mean? Thoughts become linked with emotion and then the thoughts, as you keep thinking them, trigger the emotions in your body, and keep you in a cycle, thought = emotion = thought = emotion, so that the emotion spurs the negative thought and the negative thought spurs negative emotion. This is incredibly draining energetically, and ultimately affects you so that you vibrate what you have been thinking in your energy, and therefore, become it. So how do you break the cycle if you are not feeling good in it?
We have to firstly realise we are doing it, then we have to do something about it. Take a few minutes right now to ask yourself what are the most common thoughts you repeat in your mind, about your relationship with yourself. Write it down. You are doing this just for yourself, you can burn it afterwards. So be completely honest about it. You might be surprised at what comes out. And if nothing comes out, put that down too. It’s a start.
Now you have to look at your thoughts from a third party perspective. Step away from your stories and your emotions and look at the words in the cold light of day. Do you really believe these things about yourself? Are they actually true or are they an accumulation of other people’s opinions, needs and desires? Are these thoughts actually you? Do you want to be them? Have you outgrown them?
Ok – you can then scrap the whole lot, and write it all new but a huge change usually does not work so well, even with our best intentions. So instead, change one thing. Pick one of your thoughts, the one that feels like it is the most important one such as “I do not deserve to be happy”. Say it out loud. It feels familiar to you. Notice the emotions, the energy in your body, how it flows. Now what if you take out the “do not”. We all deserve happiness. You know this deep down is the truth. How does it feel to say “I deserve to be happy”? Try it. And Again. Different isn’t it? How does your energy flow now? Do you believe it? Step into the DO and say it again “I deserve to be happy”. Run it by your heart a few times, repeat it consciously. To own this, to make it a permanent change, ask your body to put out a warning light when your mind reverts back to the old “do not” thought. Ask for a rush of energy up your spine, a pain in your shoulder, a twitch in your finger – whatever works. Catch the negative thought and replace it with the positive, new thought, stay with it and let it transform your energy, until you feel ready to go back to what you were doing.
Change one of your thoughts, and the rest of them change slowly too. “ I deserve to be happy” might manage to convert “I am not good enough” into “ I might be good enough” into “heck yes I am good enough”... But going the whole way in one sitting is too much to ask.
And when your thoughts change, your emotions change, and you change too. Bring the light in, step into your power. “I deserve to be happy”. Try it!