Friday 16 November 2012

This Blog has been moved....

I've gone over to Wordpress and I have taken the blog with me! I'll remove this blog in a few months time, if you want to read my more current work you can visit the new blog here:


Tuesday 30 October 2012

Happiness is within?

"Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness" is a well-known phrase in the United States Declaration of Independence. It gives the impression that happiness is outside of us, and that we need to spend our lives pursuing it. The declaration in fact gives us permission to go in pursuit of happiness. Whether we are successful or not in obtaining it is up to us.

People want to be happy more than any other thing; in recent studies more than 70% of people choose to be happy over health, wealth, success, even over having love. This was a surprise to me, as I felt that being healthy, or wealthy, would bring happiness intrinsically. Of course, it does not always do that. In a session recently, a client said she will be happy when she gets her big house by the sea. It was gently pointed out to her that she still could be miserable living in a big house by the sea. She acquiesced.

According to Hsieh, happiness is really about four things: perceived control, perceived progress, connectedness (number and depth of relationships), and vision / meaning (being part of something bigger than yourself). So there is a Spiritual aspect, an egoic aspect, and growth aspect. For all things to happen at once, when the ego in us has a tendency for sabotage, makes reaching the state of happiness a delicate one.

So we agree that happiness is not a thing, and it does not necessarily come to us when we have what we think we need, in order to “reach” it. It has been argued that happiness is not an emotion, nor a state of being. For me this is something that is on my mind at the moment as the old, traditional ways of getting happy are shifting away from material objects. I’m seeing it a lot in my practice now.

So I’d like to put this to the floor – and as you, my good readers what your thoughts are. What is happiness? What makes you happy? 

Friday 26 October 2012

Energy Wisdom - Words Matter

A twitter friend of mine said this morning "it's a miserable day" and I wrote back and said "I don't see anything miserable out there, just a bit of rain." By saying its a miserable day our subconscious mind is taking on the whole day as being that. By isolating what it is we mean, i.e. the weather, we don't feel so bogged down by it. It can be the difference between a good day with rain, or a miserable day all round, for you. Several "miserable days" in a row and your sub conscious mind could bring on a depressive like state without you fully knowing why. Hey guys, weather happens. Especially this time of year. Don't let it get you down at a subconscious level.

Change your words, change your world.

Wednesday 24 October 2012

Facebook Conversations

I’ve been spending a lot of time on Facebook. Too much time perhaps, so I have decided to pull in a little bit, and write here more often instead. I’m not saying Facebook time isn’t valuable, in fact I find it a really good way to reach out to people and to have interesting conversations, such as the one I’m about to share with you here. But here’s the thing – facebook is a river, flowing, and there’s always more. Some days I feel like I can swim all day, other days I’m tired and need to recover my energy so that I can swim again another day.  Yet I keep going back to it without taking a break, so I’m changing how I spend my online time... let’s see how long it lasts!

I’m offering webinar classes at the end of this month, in one week in fact, teaching people how to heal themselves with energy healing. They’re low priced at $15, yet there has not been as big an uptake on them as I’d expected. I admit it, I was disappointed. Obviously it’s something I’m doing, or not doing. I was wondering if it was because I know why my work is so good for people without really explaining it well enough. To test this theory out I thought I’d ask the good folks on my page this question : “What are the benefits of Energy Healing?” to see if people really understood what they were.

I got a humdinger of an answer – here it is (reproduced with the generous permission of the poster!)

Oooh I'm gonna get some stick now, but here's my two pence worth...
Energy Healing is really misnamed. There's no measurable energy being 'produced', and no-one has demonstrably proven that you can 'send Energy' to someone any more than you can wish a tree to fall over. No, what Energy Healing should properly be called is KINDNESS SHARING.
A session with someone who provides a safe, calm space and demonstrably shares Kindness does absolute wonders for those who need it - and in truth that means most of us.
Kindness and Calmness give us a chance to take a breath from the constant stress of modern living where our bodies actually react to a phone ringing in the same way as our ancestors reacted to a sabre tooth tiger's roar. With everything everything from text messages to traffic lights causing Flight or Fight reactions at a primal level, we are much more in need of Kindness Sharing than 'Energy Healing'. The ability to give Kindness is much more of a gift, and much more properly deserving of acceptance, than mixing up pseudo-scientific jargon with a term of hope, and calling it "Energy Healing."
Kindness Sharing is a much more appropriate term, in my opinion, and is of much more importance in today's society than talk of Energy and Energy Alignment etc.
It's interesting to note that in societies where Kindness and Empathy is a societal norm, there is a complete lack of need for Energy Alignment and Energy Healing.
Kindness works, both for the receiver and the giver.
Pity we don't all practice it more often...

Wow. What a response!! And a beautiful one at that. Here is my reply:

"There's no measurable energy being 'produced'" You're right, it's being transformed, not produced, as energy cannot be destroyed or created, Law of Thermodynamics.
"no-one has demonstrably proven that you can 'send Energy' to someone any more than you can wish a tree to fall over." You're also right, however when you put two dynamo's together, the stronger one influences the weaker one, this is entrainment. Energy healing works like this, and science just can't measure that yet. The closest they have to explaining it is entanglement theory, which, they don't quite understand as yet either.
"what Energy Healing should properly be called is KINDNESS SHARING." - I like this idea!
"A session with someone who provides a safe, calm space and demonstrably shares Kindness does absolute wonders for those who need it - and in truth that means most of us." Yes I agree too, and I also agree that someone giving permission to heal invokes a natural healing process.
"we are much more in need of Kindness Sharing than 'Energy Healing'" ... Energy healing brings people closer to a space of kindness, and once people are kinder to themselves, they can see the other person more clearly, allowing them to be more kind. So I think both can happen in parallel.
"The ability to give Kindness is much more of a gift, and much more properly deserving of acceptance, than mixing up pseudo-scientific jargon with a term of hope, and calling it "Energy Healing." ... Science can't measure what is actually happening yet so Science is not the place to go for proof that Energy healing works. Now that they have developed equipment that can see the inside of an atom, they "know" what happens at a molecular level. Before the equipment was developed, did an atom still work the same way?
"Kindness works, both for the receiver and the giver. Pity we don't all practice it more often..." I also agree with this point too!

I like it when people think things out, ask questions and probe. Because I know what I do is of value, and I know that most people are still learning about it. Heck, we are all still learning about it – as Pamela Miles infers, we do not know unequivocally how Energy Healing works. So we need to talk about it. And what better medium to use, than Facebook?! J

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Sunday 21 October 2012

The Mother's Song - Jean M Auel

Out of the darkness, the chaos of time,
The whirlwind gave birth to the Mother sublime
She woke to Herself knowing life had great worth,
The dark empty void grieved the Great Mother Earth.

The Mother was Lonely. She was the Only.

From the dust of Her birth She created the other,
A pale shining friend, a companion, a brother.
The grew up together, learned to love and to care,
And when She was ready, they decided to pair.

Around Her he'd hover. Her pale shining lover.

She was happy at first with Her one counterpart.
Then the Mother grew restless, unsure in Her heart.
She loved Her fair friend, Her dear complement,
But something was missing, Her love was unspent.

She was the Mother. She needed another.

She dared the great void, the chaos, the dark,
To find the cold home of the life-giving spark.
The whirlwind was fearsome, the darkness complete.
Chaos was freezing, and reached out for Her heat.

The Mother was brave. The danger was grave.

She drew from cold chaos the creative source,
then conceiving within, She fled with life-force.
she grew with the life that She carried inside.
And gave Herself with love and with pride.

The Mother was bearing. Her life She was sharing.

The dark empty void and the vast barren Earth,
With anticipation, awaited the birth.
Life drank from Her blood, it breathed from Her bones.
It split Her skin open and sundered Her stones.

The Mother was giving. Another was living.

Her gushing birth waters filled rivers and seas,
And flooded the land, giving rise to the trees.
From each precious drop new grass and leaves grew,
And lush verdant plants made all the Earth new.

Her waters were flowing. New green was growing.

In violent labor spewing fire and strife,
She struggled in pain to give birth to new life.
Her dried clotted blood turned to red-ochred soil,
But the radiant child made it all worth the toil.

The Mother's great joy. A bright shining boy.

Mountains rose up spouting flames from their crests,
She nurtured Her son from Her mountainous breasts.
He suckled so hard, the sparks flew so high,
the Mother's hot milk laid a path in the sky.

His life had begun. She nourished Her son.

He laughed and he played, and he grew big and bright.
He lit up the darkness, the Mother's delight.
She lavished Her love, he grew bright and strong,
But son he matured, not a child for long.

Her son was near grown. His mind was his own.

She took from the source for the life She'd begun.
Now the cold empty void was enticing Her son.
The Mother gave love, but the youth longed for more,
For knowledge, excitement, to travel, explore.

Chaos was Her foe. But Her son yearned to go.

He stole from Her side as the Great Mother slept,
While out of the dark swirling void chaos crept.
With tempting inducements the darkness beguiled,
Deceived by the whirlwind, chaos captured Her child.

The dark took Her son. The young brilliant one.

The Mother's bright child, at first overjoyed,
Was soon overwhelmed by the black frigid void.
Her unwary offspring, consumed with remorse,
Could not escape the mysterious force.

Chaos would not free. Her rash progeny.

But just as the dark pulled him into the cold,
The Mother woke up, reached out and caught hold.
To help Her recover Her radiant son,
the Mother appealed to the pale shining one.

The Mother held tight. And kept him in sight.

she welcomed him back, Her loved of old,
With heartache and sorrow, Her story She told.
Her dear friend agreed to join in the fight,
To rescue Her child from his perilous plight.

She told of her grief. And the darkness swirling thief.

The Mother was tired, She had to recover,
She loosened Her hold to Her luminous lover.
While She was sleeping, he fought the cold force,
And for a time drove it back to the source.

His spirit was strong. The encounter too long.

Her fair shining friend struggled hard, gave his best,
The conflict was bitter, the struggle hard pressed.
His vigilance waned as he closed his great eye,
Then darkness crept close, stole his light from the sky.

Her pale friend was tiring. His light was expiring.

When darkness was total, She woke with a cry.
The tenebrious void hid the light from the sky.
She joined in the conflict, was quick to defend,
And drove the dark shadow away from Her friend.

But the pale face of night. Let Her son out of sight.

Trapped by the whirlwind, Her bright fiery son,
Gave no warmth to the Earth, cold chaos had won.
the fertile green life was now ice and snow,
And a sharp piercing wind continued to blow.

The Earth was bereft. No green plants were left.

The Mother was weary, grieving and worn,
But She reached out again for the life She had borne.
She couldn't give up, She needed to strive,
For the glorious light of Her son to survive.

She continued the fight. To bring back the light.

And Her luminous friend was prepared to contest,
the thief who held captive the child of Her breast.
Together they fought for the son She adored.
their efforts succeeded, his light was restored.

His energy burned. His brilliance returned.

But the bleak frigid dark craved his bright glowing heat.
The Mother defended and would not retreat.
The whirlwind pulled hard, She refused to let go,
She fought to a draw with Her dark swirling for.

She held darkness at bay. But Her son was away.

When She fought the whirlwind and made chaos flee,
the light from Her son flowed with vitality.
When the Mother grew tired, the bleak void held sway,
And darkness returned at the end of the day.

She felt warmth from Her son. But neither had won.

The Great Mother lived with the pain in Her heart,
That She and Her son were forever apart.
She ached for the child that had been denied,
So She quickened once more from the life-force inside.

She was not reconciled. To the loss of Her child.

When She was ready, Her waters of birth,
Brought back the green life to the cold barren Earth.
And the tears of Her loss, abundantly spilled,
Made dew drops that sparkled and rainbows that thrilled.

Birth waters brought green. But Her tears could be seen.

With a thunderous roar Her stones split asunder,
And from the great cave that opened deep under,
She birthed once again from Her cavernous room,
and brought forth the Children of Earth from Her womb.

From the Mother forlorn, more children were born.

Each child was different, some were large and some small,
Some could walk and some fly, some could swim and some crawl.
But each form was perfect, each spirit complete,
Each one was a model whose shape could repeat.

The Mother was willing. The green earth was filling.

All the birds and the fish and the animals born,
Would not leave the Mother, this time, to mourn.
Each kind would live near the place of its birth,
And share the expanse of the Great Mother Earth.

Close to Her they would stay. They would not go away.

They were all Her children, they filled Her with pride,
But they used up the life-force She carried inside.
She had enough left for a last innovation,
A child who'd remember Who made the creation.

A child who'd respect. And learn to protect.

First Woman was born full-grown and alive,
And given the Gifts she would need to survive.
Life was the First Gift, and like Mother Earth,
She woke to herself knowing life had great worth.

First Woman defined. The first of her kind.

Next was the Gift of Perception, of learning,
The desire to know, the Gift of Discerning,
First Woman was given the knowledge within,
That would help her to live, and pass on to her kin.

First Woman would know. How to learn, how to grow.

Her life-force near gone, The Mother was spent,
To pass on Life's Spirit had been Her intent.
She caused all of Her children to create life anew,
And Woman was blessed to bring forth life too.

But Woman was lonely. She was the only.

The Mother remembered Her own loneliness,
The love of Her fiend and his hovering caress.
Wit the last spark remaining, Her labor began,
To share life with Woman She created First Man.

Again She was giving. One more was living.

To Woman and Man the Mother gave birth,
And then for their home, She gave them the Earth,
The water, the land, and all Her creation.
To use them with care was their obligation.

It was their home to use. But not to abuse.

For the Children of Earth the Mother provided.
The Gifts to survive, and then She decided,
To give them the Gift of Pleasure and sharing,
That honors the Mother with the joy of their pairing.

The Gifts were well-earned. When honor's returned.

The Mother was pleased with the pair She created,
She taught them to love and to care when they mated.
She made them desire to join with each other,
The Gift of their Pleasures came from the Mother.

Before She was through. Her children loved too.
Earth's Children were blessed. The Mother could rest

Thursday 18 October 2012

Energy Wisdom October 2012

The energy around us is raising it's vibration, making us feel like we are being shaken up. It's like the world is turning up it's volume, shouting out "I am here I am ready - Let's Rock!!"
As a result of this, our personal heavy energy is being shaken up - this means that emotional wounds, should they be still within us, are being activated.
Some people are in crisis because they never dealt with their issues before. Some people are wondering why they feel like they are re-working issues they already worked through. It's just a state that you are in, there is no wrong or right, no judgement to be made.
Why is this happening now?
Because it's time to really, deeply LET GO. To leave the heaviness behind us for once and for all.
So be with how you are feeling, know that it is not just you that is feeling this way. Talk about it, ask for help, let the heaviness melt away so that you can be the clear, luminous being of shining light that you were born to be.

Saturday 18 August 2012

Being firm vs being mean

Posting this picture up recently on Facebook elicited a lot of comments. People were saying things like "Oh yes, I used to be nice" and "reading this gives me strength"

This makes me think - do we feel like we are being mean when we are just setting boundaries for ourselves? Do we need validation from someone else to be able to give ourselves attention and space?

Being firm means being resolute; making a decision, setting a boundary and then sticking to it. Being mean can be a conscious choice to hurt somebody, or an unconscious cry for help. Needing space for yourself to think, to ground, to clear your energy (whether that be through exercise, sleep, reading a book or other activity that nurtures you) is vital. You have to be able to do this to get energy in order to give energy back.

I heard someone give a talk last week about personal power. She said "It's the old put your oxygen mask on before everyone else thing". The audience nodded their heads and looked puzzled - they really didn't understand what she meant. It is so important to really explain this concept. It is something that I came to terms with a long time ago, and I knew that I was accepted into my psychotherapy degree course 5 years ago when I used this very phrase, and saw the smiles on the faces of the interview panel.

We must get energy in order to give it. We cannot give our energy to everyone else, we then have none left. Simple as that. It can be a straightforward as setting boundaries. For example, if I took all my client's troubles home with me how would I ever be able to relax? To sleep? I make sure that when I am available for my clients I am fully available, refreshed and alert. I want to be the best that I can be.

This means that I don't take client calls when I'm with my family, after hours or when I am driving. When I am not working I get rest, I play games with my children and I do things that I love. By making firm boundaries and having space to myself, I recharge and rejuvenate myself. And then I can be fully available, and the work is magical.

Where can you set better boundaries in your life? Please leave a comment.